Higher Education

Earlier this year, when a team of intern was prophesying over me with words of encouragement and edification, one of them said,

"Higher Education. I don't know what that means but it is a gift of the Lord for His Kingdom."

At that time, I thought, "Ok, I think God is going to teach me through my life experiences and I'm going to pay attention to it."

Few months later, I was thinking, "Should I go back to school? I'd love to take classes at FMA (Forerunner Music Academy), that's definitely a higher education for me, I haven't really taken formal classes for worship ministry and I'd really like to." But I had a problem, what about my children if I go back to school? I checked on the website and their requirement is approximately 50 hours per week. I don't see how it is possible. I talked about it with the Lord and very soon the Lord spoke to my heart. He showed me the insecurity in my heart especially in area of worship leading, and that insecurity prompted me to want to get credential, with my own effort, in my own way, to prove my ability in this ministry. I was brought low with the 'revelation' from the Lord and I sincerely repented before the Lord and dropped that thought of applying FMA from that point on.

So, I continue with my life and try to be faithful in doing what's already in my hands. Lately, I feel like I'm beginning to understand what the "higher education" is for me. It is through the work of translation.

I've been doing written translation for a while and I've tasted the benefits in doing so, I've been learning so much. But when it comes to oral translation, it is totally different. With written translation, it takes me a week and more to finish 1 sermon notes, because I'd check the dictionary for certain terminology and think how to put words and ideas into sentences that make sence etc etc etc. But with oral translation, I only have the few seconds to hear and digest and say it out and every session of message is finished in an hour or so. I'm getting more out of the message because usually the speaker preach more than what's in the notes (and many speakers don't have notes at all), and in shorter time (compare 1 oral translation in an hour to 1 written translation in a week). Intense!

Few weeks ago, I did oral translation for David Pawson's conference and week long teaching (I'd say about 8-10 messages), and this weekend for Joseph Company conference (3 messages). Also, I started translating the message for every Sunday service. I actually volunteer to do so even though it is not required or needed. When I realize how much I'm learning, it dawned on me that God is giving me opportunities to be in "school" for "higher education". I learn about the history in Israel and God's purpose for them, and history of the founding of USA as Christian nations and the founding Father's experiences, God's heart for the marketplace Christians, authority of believers, God's trategy in the End Times in restoration all things - is through restoring the family etc etc etc.

When I'm not translating, the % of reception is 70%, and if Cheryl is with me, it drops to 50%, and if the title doesn't interest me or I'm in low mood that day, it drops to 20%, and with the distration of looking at people passing by, there'll be only 15% left. But when I'm translating, the % of reception is 99%, doesn't matter if I'm interested or not, or feel like it or not. Very interesting!

Also, with conferences, staffs serving can go in without charge (means, no registration fee). If I'm to pay the fee, I probably won't go and would think I can just watch it on-line but ended up taking care of kids and houseworks.

And, if I'm thinking about going to a meeting, I alwas have to think of my kids, and for whatever reason (Jerry can't take care of the kids because he has works to do, I have to pay $25-30/child for the children program during the message and it is beyond our budget, or they don't have children program provided etc etc etc), I usually ended up not going. But if I volunteer to translate, I will make every effort to go there, and Jerry will make every effort to accomodate.

Now I'm just so glad I get to do this work of translation, it is a gift of God, for me, to go through higher education. :)

One time during staff meeting, the translation work was described as "sitting in a dungeon with your computer". It sounded funny but it can be very true and can be very torturing to the physical body to sit long hours before a computer to do written translation, hours after hours, das after days. For me, my translation work is much easier than the 'dungeon' work, and much enjoyable. I'm a part time staff, and hours required of me are half less compared to a full time staff. I respect my husband for taking up this 'dungeon' work for doing it 24+ hours/week. And as for me, I'm thankful, and I enjoy doing translation.

Btw, I'm not professional translator, it is because there isn't much people willing or available to do translation here, I get to do it and I'm tremendously blessed by the Lord through it. I went to Chinese school till 6th grade and I remember Chinese was a hard language for me as an elementary child. My schooling was done primarily in Malay from age 12-16, and in English from then on, so I'm what I call "mixed". It was like the days when I first started involved in worship ministry, no one was there to play the piano, and there was my turn, with the limited skill I had but was able to explore and develop in that area.

I'm loving this life I have when I can see life from the perspective of God. Amazing!

說錯話

你曾經說錯話嗎？說了不合宜的話？用了不正確的字眼？語氣？表達方式？

我常常糾正我的孩子。有時候，很好笑。有時候，很尷尬。有時候很氣。

其實，我自己常說錯話。印象很深的有幾次。

第一次被糾正，而且深感痛悔，是在大學。我和我這位Ethiopia的好朋友在Moody Bible Institute念書。我們常常在一起，說很多話。有一次她告訴我，我幾天前說的某句話傷了她的心。我好驚訝，因爲我原無此意要傷她，心裏好難過。感謝主我們的友誼並沒因此受損害，我們仍然是好朋友。那是我第一次我告訴神我要立定心志説話小心。

有次我要拒絕一位追求我的男生，結果説錯話，導致話傳到團契輔導耳中。那位輔導是位神忠心良善的僕人，勸我説話要小心。那次我也很難過，又說錯話。

我生活最常接觸的就是先生小孩。我多次為自己向他們說錯話而悔改在神面前。

最近又發生了說錯話的事件。也是神忠心良善的僕人告訴我的。我為這些忠心良善的僕人感謝神，若不把事情告訴我，我錯了自己也不知道，將來也許重復同樣的錯誤。雖然如此，每一次心裏都會非常難過。這次也不例外。那晚，帶著沉重的心情躺在床上，向主傾訴。說著，說著，我就問，

“主啊，好難哦。我曾經爲此軟弱背誦了些箴言記載對話語的經文。。。 我原就不是很會説話、很會表達的人。。。 好難哦。。。”

“秀君，在我沒有難成的事。你相信，因著我的幫助，你會改變嗎？”

突然，在我裏面有鼓力量、信心高漲，“對！在你沒有難成的事。雖然我自己做不到，但你可以！啊。。。 謝謝主！”

是的，我可以向主學習，祂一定會教我。我要好好的留意聼祂的聲音。我不需要停留在懊悔沮喪裏，好像那無盼望的人；我的懊悔，神已紀念，也已赦免。我可以勇敢的走出來，帶著盼望的再度往前行。

有主陪伴的人生真幸福！每件大小事物祂都關注、都在乎。謝謝主！

Invitation to raise up the next generation

I'm very thankful for the season I had when I was actively involved in Chinese harp and bowl (prayer meetings) here in IHOP-KC. I had the privilege to lead a set too. Well, it isn't on the webstream because the international sets are in JPR instead of GPR (the main prayer room). It doesn't make us less important at all because whether JPR or GPR, we all have the same audience, and only audience, that is, Jesus!!!

It was a season I was drawn close to the Chinese community here. I moved here summer 2009 but it was January 2011 that I got to know them and developed friendships with them. I was thankful and really treasure the time we had. For a stay-home and home-school mom, this is a bonus!

1. It was challenging yet rewarding to listen to the recording of the sets I lead. I realized the weakness of my vocal strength and started taking vocal lesson. Not so I can sound great, even though sounding good is pleasant to those listening, but more because I want to enter into the fullness of the voice that God has given me. Also, I've learn so much about team work as well as different instruments. When different instruments play in a team, there're time to go full force and there're time to hold back. There can be so much variety that leads to different dynamics.


2. Every week, we're interceeding for houses of prayers to be raised up among the Chinese, for His Chinese church to grow in intimacy with Jesus and to know Him, and for the salvation of Israel.


3. Coming alive!! Yes, when I lead worship, there is part of me that come alive! Even my friend said the same thing when she saw the changes in me when I started worship leading.


4. I'm thankful for the sacrifices of my husband and children to make space for me to stay in this season for a while. Sad to admit that there were times I neglected them. Many late night hours I was in JPR singing or worship leading, and often times slept between 2-4am. Mornings came in a few hours and my children were awake but I wasn't awake enough to take care of their needs. But I'm grateful for their sacrifice.

At the end of the season, I felt the Lord inviting me to change gear and turn my heart back to my children. I felt Him asking me, not demanding me, "Are you willing to give 'that' up, to raise the next generation?" I knew what He meant and I felt His heartbeat for my children.

One time during worship, I had a little conversation with the Lord.

I said, "God, thank You for giving me the opportunity to sing with the Chinese team on stage at GPR. I never thought I would be up there, I don't think I would pass the audition..."

God interrupted me, "Yes, but what's a greater privilege is that you are my preciuos daughter, it means so much more than singing on stage at GPR. Your experience on stage at GPR is only temperory, but your identity as my daughter is forever."

I broke down in tears, sobbing, as He merged me into His vast ocean of love. Then He said, "I'm not asking you to work hard towards GPR, to be recognized by men or approved by men, but I'm inviting you to enter into another season, just you and me, where I want you to singing to me and play for me alone in your basement where no one else can hear you."

"Yes, Lord, I am willing..."

That marked the end of my involvement with Chinese worship team, and the beginning of a new season with 2 focuses, raising up the next generation, and singing/playing keyboard for Jesus in my basement.

Little did I know "raising up the next generation" isn't limited to my children. Later on, the Lord shares with me His heart for the young people. It is amazing. I never thought I'd have the desire to serve the youths or young adults. I used to think the next generation is so different from mine and I have nothing to give them and I don't know how to relate to them. Now, the burden for them is increasing in my heart and I will yet explore what it means to raise up the next generation in the future. :)

The shift wasn't all easy, but His love made it possible. When I started the change, I prayed to God "Can you help me to transition and help me not to look back and 'miss' the past?" Amazingly, I soon found out He actually did listened to my little weak prayer and changed my heart. I found joy and satisfaction in this new season. I did not regret stepping off Chinese worship team at all.

By this time, my staff application went through and I started my official sacred trust hours (that means I have to sign in) and I'm loving it! My time in the prayer room, though not on stage, but the same involvement. I prayed together with those leading on stage, for many prayer focuses, like "ending of human trafficking", "revival to Hollywood and LA", "Russian", "Japan", "Israel", "youths"...

Currently I'm devoting my 12 hours of services to translating (written translation). I'm loving it too! Just few days ago as I was doing the translation on my laptop my heart was stirred and touched by the message itself. God is encountering me no less than when I was in the worship team.

And, everyday I go to sleep around 8:30pm and wake up at 4:30am. :) I love being an early bird! I almost felt like God made me an early bird by nature. I feel awake and energized and, I get lots of dreams...

How long will this season last? It can be 3 months, 1 year, 10 years, I don't know. But from past experiences, the present is always the best season and I want to live to the fullest of what God has in store for me, and the next season is even better and I will not be afraid when time to change arrive. Amen!

快樂的加州之旅 Joyful LA trip

Here are our praises to God for our LA trip.

1. Safety. Yes, we got to LA safely, and we got home safely. On our way back, we had a short 30 minutes to catch a connecting flight from Houston to KC. We had to walk from terminal D to terminal B, and it was a very far distance and we even had to take a 'transit'. Cheryl was running while holding my hands because we were walking fast. Amazingly, we made it! Eveybody else were inside the plane. We were the 2nd to the last who got in. :)

2. Friends. Some of the sweet moments were hanging out with friends. We spent time eating and fellowshiping with friends there. Especially our hosts, Chris' family, Justin's family, and Janejane, we saw them almost everyday. They are all lovely people.

3. Ministry. We're grateful for different opportunities to share at small groups, prayer meeting and Sunday service. We were very encouraged to see so many passionate lovers of Jesus, pressing on for their pursuit of the Lord. Their prayers and devotion to the Lord have touched our heart.

4. Fun places. We brought the kids to Irvine lake for a short family time. We played 'pooh stick' and it was one of the memorable moments for the kids. I brought them to the little old mall and Schabarum park where we used to hang out as a family when we lived there. I saw Samuel's face lit up when we got to the park. We also went to the beach with friends. That's my kids' favorite! Barefoot on the sand, stepping on the ocean water, getting wet chased by the waves, sand castles... yup! Also, our friends brought my 2 boys to the circus!! First time in their lives! How they kept talking about their circus experience to us.

5. Support. Praise the Lord for providing through these generous people. We had our expenses covered. God once again proved Himself faithful. While doing the work of intercessory missionary here, we know we have partners back home in LA, who invested in us, and will share with us the joy and fruit of our ministry.

6. Healing. Cheryl was sick since we bought tickets to go back to LA. She got fever too while we were there. I felt it was an attack of the enemy. Sure enough after our Wednesday ministry, she had no more fever and started to feel better. Praise God! Both Jerry and I, at the end of the trip, were getting sick from being too tired. But God has protected us.

Thank You, God, for an awesome trip filled with many surprises!

Something inside of me is different

今天是LA Ministry Trip的第四天。當我在服事中，發現我裏面不一樣了！

這次來加州，我竟然主動打電話給認識的小組長，問他們可不可以讓我們來他們的小組分享。不覺得厚臉皮，只是裏面有一股熱情，很想把我們過去一年在IHOP-KC所學的，與弟兄姐妹分享。以前我是絕對不會這樣做的，覺得要謙卑，別人邀請了才分享，縂覺得自己沒什麽好分享的，也覺得自己沒有口才，不會分享，不要厚臉皮。。。等等的原因。其實那都是錯誤的思想。

打了幾通電話，時間也安排得滿滿的。 心裏好興奮，可以分享主的話。有一份說不出來的喜樂，可以與神同工。沒有壓力，沒有顧慮。充滿了熱情和期待。

昨天我第一次在教會禱告會分享也！哈哈，知道嗎，是我自告奮勇要分享，這不是我以前會做的。教會給我們機會，沒有指定Jerry分享，我就告訴Jerry，那我來分享吧！哈哈，連我都快不任得我自己了。

原本在準備的另一份分享，我的心就一直在想，他們需要聼這個嗎？我要如何去講，要花更多時閒去研讀。。。等等。到了出發前兩天早上，神問我，那是你的passion嗎？什麽才是你的passion？我第一個想到的就是“啓示錄”與末世信息，就是關於耶穌的再來。我明白了，我該分享我心中的passion。所以，開始重新準備。

雖然時間匆促，但我在準備時，就心裏很興奮。準備信息，可以是那麽喜樂、那麽“好玩”的，好奇妙喲！

昨天要分享前，竟然沒有壓力。而且，很期待，可以把心中的passion與人分享。這是怎麽樣的一個服事啊？我才發現，我不一樣了，原來神已經改變了我。原來與神同工，是輕省、喜樂的。

沒有到昨晚禱告會聽見我分享的人，可以想象，我不是口齒伶俐的人（我誠實地看自己，但沒有自卑感），也沒有講道的經驗（可是我很喜歡翻譯），講出來的東西就是那樣子。可是，你知道嗎，我不但準備時很興奮，講的時候也心裏很興奮，講完了還是很興奮（就是現在在寫這個blog時，我的心裏還是很興奮）。我不再意我講得不好，我非常喜樂可以與神同工，祂使用我這個卑微的器皿，我也很感恩牧師願意給我這個機會，也很感恩弟兄姐妹的保容、願意聼我的分享。

我在台上分享時，看見台下人的表情。沒有看見有人睡着或打瞌睡，但有些表情是“huh?”（皺著眉頭，好像聼不懂）。當牧師來結尾時，說的話，我非常amen。他說，“如果你們聼不懂秀君說的，沒關係，因爲啓示錄是很難的一本書。。。”牧師還鼓勵大家買一本我介紹的書Revelation Study Guide by Mike Bickle。 實在太好了，我講的有限，但他們若自己去研讀啓示錄，就會更清楚、更明白。

以前，我會想，我講得不好，不清楚。。。以前，我會很在意我的表現，敬拜帶得好嗎，服事成功嗎。。。以前的我，會因爲敬拜帶得不好，心情沉重，重復思考哪裏出差錯了，哪裏可以改進。換作以前的我，一定很在意我講得好不好。但是這次讓我自己也很驚訝的，就是我雖知道有許多進步的餘地，我心裏那份喜悅、興奮、熱情，並沒有減少。我很興奮可以把我心中的passion分享了出去。我感覺到父神非常喜悅，祂沒有要求我講得像某某人一樣好，就好像做父母的，不會要求初生嬰孩說，“媽媽，請你給我奶喝，我餓了”，也不會要求一年紀的學生，說的故事像大學生一樣流利生動。神沒有要求我講得像張茂松一樣好，或向Jerry一樣好。真的也！

這次的服事，我發現我不一樣了，原來神改變了我。服事的果效是重要，但是，與神同工的過程更重要。我好享受這個過程。This is about my relationship with Jesus！服事神，不是勞苦擔重擔。服事神，是與神同工。有人領受10個硬幣，有人5個，有人1個。有多少，就服事多少。有1個的，不需要籌到10個才去服事。與神同工的過程，我摸著神的心，神也摸著我的心。。。我更認識祂，祂也讓我更認識我自己。

我想，我是被神的喜樂靈充滿了！哈利路亞！

禱告室

感謝主，現在我可以帶三個小孩一起到禱告室！

回想起去年剛搬過來，參加三個月的Intro to IHOP-KC Internship時，有規定的禱告室時間。剛開始時是著帶三個孩子一起去，他們對這新環境非常好奇，除了東張西望，還會彼此講話玩耍，停不下，也靜不下。後來老師說我和Jerry可以輪流去禱告室，好讓另一個人陪小孩在家睡午覺（找出晚歸，小孩不得不睡午覺，而且Cheryl還小，需要睡午覺；又剛好規定的禱告室時間是他們午睡時間）。

後來Internship結束後，我就開始帶一個孩子去，其他兩個孩子就在家跟Jerry一起。這樣，他們就不會在禱告室玩在一起。很快的，他們就習慣了在禱告室裏的時間。

今年年初，我有個感動，花那麽多的代價來這裡，只有我和Jerry去禱告室，小孩只一星期去個1-2天，實在不夠。我便提起勇氣，帶兩個去。結果他們在禱告室都很乖。我便再度提起勇氣，帶三個小孩一起去。效果竟出乎我意料外！他們非常乖！！！時間從1小時，到現在可以2-3小時，看我什麽時候帶他們走都可以！（Samuel小時候不喜歡畫畫，但自從常去禱告室後，他就非常愛畫畫！ ）

現在，每星期六天早上我都會帶3個小孩一起去禱告室，星期天一起去主日聚會。我覺得非常幸福！謝謝主幫助了我！雖然要付代價，但是是值得的！自從一星期六個早上都去禱告室，時間變少了，沒時間教中文，Joshua沒時間練琴，小孩玩的時間也縮短了，但我覺得這是值得的！

"Bringing Up Boys"

I read this book "Bringing Up Boys" by Dr. James Dobson and it has a section on marriage that I really like. So I'll copy some and rephrase some here.

Someone asked for advice to give to a (freshman in college) son's question "how to lower the risk of divorce?"

"The answer... could go 600 different ways, but I'll be content to offer just one suggestion. You need to explain to your son how women are different from men and how that uniqueness will affect his own marriage... Many men come into marriage laboring under the mistaken idea that their wives are going to be their cheerleaders, who will take care of the children and expect nothing in return. They believe that their greatest and perhaps only responsibility is to make $ and to succeed professionally, even if it requires 12 hours a day to do it. The assumption of women, on the other hand, is that their marriage will be a wonderfully romantic affair. They anticipate candlelit dinners and walks in the rain and evenings of soul-to-soul conversations. Both of these expectations are illusions that bump along for a few years until they finally collide. Workaholic men and Cinderella women often destroy each other.... I strongly urge fathers to tell their adolescent and college-age boys that girls are incurable romantics and that it will not be enough for them as husbands to be successful in their professional pursuits. That would have been sufficient in decades past. Today, something more is expected. If they are going to have strong marriages and families, they must reserve time and energy for the marital relationship, talking together and treating each other as sweethearts...."

I'll take time to ponder of these. :D